After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.

Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi. How was'a da treep?"

Luigi said, "Ever'thing was'a perfect except for da train'a ride down."

"What'a you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

"Well, we board'a da train at Grand Central'a Station. My beautiful'a Virginia had packed a big'a basket a food with vino and cigars for'a me, nd'a we were looking 'aforward to da trip. All was OK until we got'a hungry and opened up'a da lunch'a basket.

"The conductor came by, wagged his'a finger at us and'a say, No eat in dese'a car. Must'a use'a dining car.'

"So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a big'a lunch and begin to open'a bottle of vino.

Conductor come again, wag his'a finger and say, 'No drink'a in dese'a car.

Must'a use'a club'a car.' "So we go to club'a car. While'a drinking vino, I start to light'a my big'a cigar. The conductor, he wag'a his finger gain and say, 'No smoke'a in dese'a car. Must'a go to smoker car.' "We go to smoker car and I smoke'a my cigar.

Later, my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car and'a go to bed. We just about to have'a sex and the conductor,